i havent been complaining for a long time, i know inside me i'm dying out to scream out and start my complaining engine to someone, but then i always feel tired and i cant think of anything else but who can i call, who can i talk to everyday after work, wat to do... wat channel to watch, wat to eat.. i didnt know wat loneliness is when i was in Penang, everywhere i go, i'll definately have someone with me, to eat breakfast, lunch and dinner. but now, who cares.. i couldn't think coz when i do.. all the flash back comes to me and i'm crying inside.. how much i miss home..
i had a good plan before i came over here to help my uncle out, but now, i dont really know what is my purpose anymore. i guess coz i'm demotivated.. again??.. yeah. this time i feel worst than in Hell, reason being the boss is my boss is my dear Uncle who has major health problem. i even had plans to help him run the whole business for him so he can retire back in malaysia. how funny! it's so difficult, i have to do everything for him, but then with his temper and attitude, how can one survive this. i really do admire Audrey, she is a lady from HongKong, who has been working for him for bout 3 years. wat isit like working for this boss?? well.. u really do need to come here and know for urself.
he is forgetful, today he'll ask u to do tis n tat, then tomorrow will say somethingn else, next thing u know he'll yell at u for doing all tis stupid things, but yet i can't answer him anything... yesterday he said that the $ales figure is not important, the more important thing to him now is the quantity we are selling, today he will say tat make sure selling more quantity n meet the $ales target, tomolo he'll scream out hysterically how come not selling well, why not meet 10K?? gosh! wat the f**** am i doing here? he'll tell u not to make any orders to the hq, he'll arrange alll tat himself, next day when he's in the shop and SCREAMED at you, why the HELL DIDN"T YOU MAKE AN ORDER!... he'll ask u to do the display like tis n tat, when u r done, he'll forget wat he said and yell at u why do such an ugly display! he'll yell at how stupid u are, not using ur brains and etc! when the boss is angry at u, he wont talk to u, and he'll make so sure tat u know tat, and then he'll stab ur backs. he practically stabbed everyone's back. but then,.... he'll tell u how good this fella is, tis n tat, next thing, he'll tell another person how bad they all are! WTF?? he has a temper worst then a menopaus lady! he doesnt ask for the reason of something happening first, he'll bring it out on U, even tho u are innocent, but IF you could prove ur innocence, and ammend the wrong doing of someone else and show him tat u've fixed the problem, he'll talk sweetly to you.... OMG! i'm with devil!
He truly likes it if a lady sweet talks to him, esp the CHina girls from another branch. they have all the world's priority... hmm.. even those with same surname couldn't have one tiny bit! anyways, i couldn't b bothered with priority or more power or a super duper Branch Manager. i rather b a stupid brainless staff.. less responsibilities to carry.
i'm physically tired, mentally drained. i've been thinking of how to get more sales, product pricing, and not enough ppl to work as well as most of my girls are having exam tis 2 weeks. i'm so so tired. he made me feel like all the things i've done to help him so far meant nothing to him at all, he couldn't care tiny bit for it. he never gives any good comments to you. Aud said tat he actually transfers all the bad qi to everyone so he'd feel much better.. how selfish could one b?
this morning, my guy asked me.. "Why do bosses like to scream at ppl?" ... i had a good lough and said i don't know, i'll tell you IF i bcome a boss one day and start yelling at ppl.. but they all laughed and said tat i'm not tat kinda person. then i asked them, would u like to be self employed or employee? ... at tis moment, i dono... i'm running a business for my uncle, blind folded...lead by a blind man, who is also so conservative, saying he'll pass the business to a GUY only, not a GIRL! and he has been staying in UK for over 20 years!
i can't complain much. i chose to b here. the reason? the only person who helped me and my family when were needed most is him. when my dad got critically ill, he came back and helped us. when dad pass away, he couldn't bare to come back at all coz he was very broken hearted. when he heard i was about to quit my studies, he stopped me, ask me to finish my degree, and he helped me financially. is there a big thank you card that i can give him, turn around and walk away when he needs help? how many years i have to work and save up to return the money he spent for my family? and then return all the money to him and say thank YOu, watch him work his life out in this country? this is my karma, this is my thank you for helping me out when i needed u most. but funny thing is now, i think he doesnt deserve all this from me. the only thing that allows me to drag my body out of bed to get to work, is because he is my uncle. my family. my saviour. am i silly or wat... wat can i say.....
anyway...
i loved being an employee in some of my previous company, i really enjoyed working there. like HP Sales, where everyone treated me xtremely well, every company trip, i'll b gettin loads of souveniers. EBSCO, a good American boss who can speak mandarin better than i do! but nevertheless, someone who could actually sit and talk to u about everything, never raised his voice to anyone before. i had 2 chances to become self employed, for both of my uncles, but i turn them down, tat was a few years back, but now i was thinking... there are so many things i couldn've done... now i'm just another lost soul.
my uncle actually told me to start up a business when i go back to penang. i really dont know wat to do at the moment, but all tat's in my mind is to backpack and go travel around euro and also asia. i'd really like to goto vietnam, thai, nepal, etc for several years.
gosh.. why do ppl have to work anyway? why worry bout money money money? why work your ass out, and suffer and suffer and suffer... hmmmm.. is tis wat life is bout?
wat would u prefer? i mean.. now when i see wat self employed like my boss is like.. it freezes me out.. money, staff problem, selling, daily sales, blaa blaa...
as an employee... u get lousy team mates, bad team leader, stupid team managers running things for u... and u get stuck there....
wat would you like?
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